Body by Amy, LLC


This past month was the first time in at least a decade that I wasn’t taking any sort of mood stabilizer. My freshman year of college I was prescribed Prozac & told I was bipolar, not necessarily in that order. Also - the bipolar was actually a misdiagnosis; I was just severely depressed. When I started to feel better a year later, I went off my meds without a doctor’s permission or guidance. Months later, I was drinking virtually every night, doing drugs, staying up until 7am watching stupid TV to distract myself from my sadness, and sleeping all day & skipping class. I stopped running. I stopped doing everything I loved doing except partying. After dropping out of college for the second time, I was put on 20mg of Lexapro & diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I took Lexapro for several years - up until a year & a half ago. Intermittently I would take Buspirone and Xanax for my panic attacks. I decided to taper off my Lexapro about 2 years ago, after moving to Denver. I did so very responsibly - and yet I still suffered awful withdrawals. So, I started taking St John’s Wart - and I pretty much have ever since, up until one month ago. The dosage of SJW was pretty low, but I noticed that it toned down my withdrawals from Lex and helped stabilize the nightly panic attacks. (Diffusing lavender & vetiver also helped, among other things like therapy.) But recently I found out through some research that SJW interacts with some of the other meds I take, like birth control, so I stopped taking it last month. So. Holy cow. I’m mood stabilizer free. And not only that, but even cooler? I’m experiencing these random bouts of joy. Like, pure happiness. I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve felt that way (without drugs, that is). Like I’ll just be driving in my car or training a client at my gym in Wheat Ridge and this wave of pure bliss washes over me and it honestly stuns me. Because guys, I literally haven’t felt this in 10 YEARS. At least. It feels so damn good. Because it’s so pure. It’s not drug-induced, it’s not even induced by some sort of life event, it’s simply just there. Every day. I wanted to share this because, well I won’t lie, I’m simply fucking pumped and we should share our triumphs. But also because I want some of you to know there’s a light at the end of that dark, dark tunnel you might be in right now. And fuck- YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT. It doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t happen by sitting around. You have to tell yourself youre beautiful, and intelligent, and strong, every single day. You have to make an effort to see the beauty around you, rather than the ugly. YOU. HAVE. TO. WORK. But it’s there. And it can get better. 💜